a new chapter in life

 as most of you know jon and i have a blog set up to tell about all of our travels around asia. this blog is a bit different, it is just for me, to express exactly what the title states.  for those of you who don't know spanish mis pensamientos errantes, means "my wandering thoughts".  i'm going to be honest, if no one reads this i won't be too upset. in the past i've used writing as a way to relieve stress and to put my thoughts in an order. i find i can think much better when i write. feel free to comment, ask questions, state your opinion, whatever you feel.

tonight has been an awakening of sorts. i write about a new chapter in life and find it interesting that this day over 200 years ago my country was also starting a new chapter in life. a life meant to be lived in freedom. that is what i want for this blog, freedom to express what i am thinking, what i am feeling, what i know to be true. and the freedom to do this without judgement from others. 

tonight jon and i had a long and serious discussion on our trip home. we talked about relationship with God and how our past experiences and relationship with each other has changed that primary relationship with our creator. as jon and i discussed and shared what we were thinking and feeling, i realized we are not living the life God wants for any of his children. God created us to be FREE!!! he created us to freely accept him, his grace, and his love! and yet as his children we enslave ourselves with doubt, fear, shame, guilt, and regret.  we wallow in this pit of assumed disappointment and failure and reject the hand that is desperately trying to raise us back up. we reject our freedom and refuse God's grace.  yet in the bible we are told "Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!" how incredible is that!? God is offering his freedom to us, and i can't figure out why we aren't going out of our way to readily grab it the moment it is offered. why do we hold ourselves back from this incredible gift? why do we knowingly push it away!? is it simply human nature or are we just to scared of what changes may occur in ourselves if we allow ourselves to be free of this world and to completely live in the freedom of the Lord?

i don't really know if i'm expecting an answer, and i truly don't know if there is an answer. i do know that i want freedom, and i want to feel free to accept everything God is offering.